Emotional Intelligence and maturity are keys to confidence, a stronger sense of self and healthy self-esteem.
We are not necessarily born with emotional intelligence, so it is often learned behavior.
When we lack emotional intelligence and maturity, we unknowingly (and later knowingly) create our own drama, disappointment, frustration and insecurity in our lives. It is a recipe for disaster within relationships with others, especially intimate, romantic ones.
You can be young and have emotional intelligence or you can be older and lack it. It is an
ageless way of living. The great news is that you can develop emotional intelligence and emotional maturity at any age.
All of us at one time or another will experience disappointment, fear, anger, resentment, grief, jealousy and drama. These traits are part of the normal human experience. You automatically become emotionally intelligent when you realize you have the power to change your moods and reactions.
Emotionally intelligent people learn to experience these feelings and then quickly release them. Emotionally immature people get “stuck” and ruminate about these feelings, blaming others and lashing out hoping to get the other person to “make it all better.”
To go through life expecting others to “fix you” or worse yet, wanting to “fix others” is a
Negative emotions are a part of life but can be dealt with in a mature fashion that incorporate more bliss and relaxation into your life.
Here are four Goddess Pearls of Wisdom to begin your journey to Emotional Intelligence:
- Become clear about who you are, where you want to go and your boundaries in life.
- Learn to embrace and accept others for who they are and know you cannot change them. Accept or reject.
- Take charge of your life. Express yourself. Communicate then learn to surrender the outcome. You only have the ability to improve yourself. Others will either follow in time or not. That is not your responsibility.
- Life is short. Keep that in mind next time you get caught up in negativity. Ask yourself, is it worth it?
In Lessons for an Urban Goddess, I stress the importance of taking charge of your life. Let go of the victim mentality and learn to let go of what doesn’t serve your higher good.
Recommended readings: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
How to be an Adult in Relationships, David Richo.